If you are looking for success for your child in sports then this next series of blog posts will be important for you and how you interact with your child or children. I will consider the reasons why kids play sports and why they quit sports and how we can come up with a strategy so kids will keep playing into their adult years. These statistics (reasons) will be surprising to some I think.
Why do kids play sports?
According to research done by University of Notre Dame’s Center for Ethical Education, kids play sports for the following reasons.
1. To have FUN! (always number 1)
2. To do something they are good at
3. To Improve their skills
4. To get exercise and to stay in shape
5. To be part of a team and be with friends
6. Excitement of competition
Why do kids quit sports?
In the United States 70% of kids drop out of organized sports by the time they are 13 years old. I am sure the numbers are similar in Canada. Why are these numbers so high?
Top reasons?
1. Criticism and yelling
2. No playing time
3. Emphasis on winning
4. Poor communication
5. Fear of making mistakes
6. Boredom
7. Not learning
In these next series of weekly posts, I will be expanding on these points and how they relate to you, as a parent, and your younger child when they are just starting out (anywhere from 4 - 8 years old). At later stages of development these observations will differ.
Let’s tackle #1 first. FUN!
Kids naturally have an affinity for fun, creativity and enjoyment. They are constantly coming up to me during a class and saying “Hey let’s do this game or drill… Its fun” Or when they are young they can usually make up some sort of game out of thin air.
It’s tricky to navigate as a coach but I want to validate their ideas and hopefully translate them into the lesson. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but a child knows that I am listening to them and then there is a connection. I always have a back up plan (game) that is fun if it doesn’t work out.
As a coach in general, I am always looking at the 6 points above on why they play sports and use them in my teaching methods. If I make it fun, then the kids will want to come back again next time. This doesn’t mean that it’s easy for them or that I am a pushover. But when it’s in the context of a game the kids don’t notice “failures” as much and can keep trying to do something.
I also encourage and validate very small and simple things. For instance, when a 4 or 5 or 6-year-old child is starting out it could be just the fact that they made contact with the ball on a forehand. I don’t care if it went sideways, or backwards, or rolled along the ground. If they miss completely I will say something like “Wow what an amazing follow through you almost had it!” I have quite a few games where the kids will miss shots but instead of being discouraged, right away they are moving or running to some other place on the court and they think it’s funny. Meanwhile in the background they are learning and getting better. They are natural learners and don’t worry about mistakes unless they are taught to think that.
Or sometimes I will just be funny. Kids love to laugh and sometimes I may just “accidently” get hit by a ball or fall on the ground. This could keep a younger child engaged for 30 minutes just because of that. The engagement is what I’m looking for. Even though the kids run the show, so to speak, I see myself as the catalyst for success of the class.
From your point of view as a parent, if there is too much commenting on say, for instance, skill acquisition or following the rules, etc., then the child will not be in the present and will have a hard time just being a kid and having fun. They are too worried about what you think and can’t concentrate. Or they will get bored quickly as they just don’t get to be themselves. When a kid is having fun in the present (engaged fully) they learn faster than that any adult ever will. I may be wrong, I’ve only been teaching 31 years. 😉 I also think this is their normal go to behaviour.
So moral of the story is for you the parent, to try to validate for your child that they are doing great, check that they had fun and that’s about it. Keep it simple! If your coach has enough experience then they can help your child to learn at their natural pace and keep it fun for them. Sometimes it’s just a question of getting out of the way as they can learn so fast!
Next time we will get into the area of getting better and skill acquisition, what is happening in a kid’s brain and what teaching tricks I use to facilitate success.
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